After more than a week of spending the entire day with my little boy, today I finally had to send him back to be taken care by the babysitter. I normally would miss him terribly having to send him to the babysitter after just spending the weekend with him, what’s more this time I spent the whole week with him and we had so much fun and love throughout the week. It’s also made harder today because he’s starting his first day with a new babysitter.
While we got ready to go out this morning, he was happily playing and walking about the room. Suddenly, he came up to me and hugged me. Then he walked over to his daddy and hugged him too. It made me swallow a lump in my throat. I had half the mind of not sending him to the babysitter today, and postpone it to tomorrow. But the practical part of me knew that’s not what I should do. He had to start his first day with the new babysitter anyhow, and it won’t get any easier any other day.
So we went and I was quite happy that he was rather at ease at his second home. He walked about and found nooks and corners to play hide and seek. I hung around to watch him get used to being at the new place, playing his familiar toys, reading his favourite books, eating his bread and cookies and drinking his milk, having a bath and even poo-ed!
I found myself reluctant to leave even though it was already well past 11am, and it was time for me to take off and let him get accustomed to things without me around. So whilst he was distracted in play, I sneaked out of the house and headed home. It was quite hard for me to tear myself away from him, and at the same time wondering how he is doing.
I wondered even up to now whether he cried when he realised that I was not there, whether he asked for me, whether he was happy, whether he was eating and drinking his milk, whether he’s getting his nap. I don’t dare to call the babysitter to ask how he is either, because I know the moment I hear his voice or worse yet, his cries, I would go weak.
Sometimes I really wonder whether this going to a new babysitter business is harder for him or me.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
You know what, after spending 9 days with Hayley I chose to send her back to the babysitter today with a heavy heart (I am not working today or tomorrow but I thought of giving myself a break). I was also half hearted if I should postpone to the following day etc. And I have this feeling even when I am sending her to the same babysitter so I can understand what you’re going through. While I rest at home and do my chores, I was filled with guilt
Wow! I remember these feelings like it was just yesterday! Really, I did and I also cried and wondered etc. But after a while, you will get used to the fact that the kid is well taken care of and we do not need to worry and then we (or at least I) need to get away once a while without the kid (and the husband) and find ourselves some me-time. Does us all some good and a chance to regain our sanity. But that is just me la ….
Amy, I can relate to that so much! But I think we should learn from Busy Bee and let go of the guilt and enjoy the well deserved time
Busy Bee, I’m trying to take your advise and enjoy the time I get to be on my own…
Yeah, I am learning hard too and I think I am slowly getting the hang of it.. hehe