My little boy can be quite possessive over things and people. Because of that, I feel that it is important to teach him how to share. As he grows and develops and is able to comprehend and communicate more effectively these days, I feel this is the best time to start teaching him some of these important values in life.
A few months back, it proved difficult to teach him how to share, especially when it comes to his favourite food or toys. Lately, he has been even more possessive and would show displeasure at having to share. I think this was aggravated by one particular incident where he was sitting on a kiddie ride in a shopping mall and put his little toy on the dashboard of the car kiddie ride. A young boy of about 10 years old walked past us and actually made a grab for the toy. Both my son and I looked at him in shock and upon seeing our glares, that boy quickly walked off without taking the toy.
That was a close encounter to lose a toy to a stranger, and I could tell that he was quite in a shock over that incident. Every once in a while, he would remind me of that incident by saying “Ko-ko take boy boy toy!” It was since then that I noticed every time you ask him to hand over something or even to share, he would grab it tight and say a firm “No!” and would even protest if you continue to take it away from him. I’m obviously not happy with this behaviour and have been trying to make him trust and share more willingly.
Our efforts have paid off. Last night, his grandma bought him a pack of marshmallow. We suggested to him that he should take the whole pack to the babysitter’s place tomorrow and share them with the aunty and uncle there. To my surprise, he readily agreed whilst holding his pack of marshmallow dearly close to him. Then he said “Give uncle one. Give aunty one. Give boy boy one. Share share.”
I was elated when I heard that! Now that’s one big improvement and a very big encouragement for us to keep instilling good sharing habits in him. I don’t think we should stop now and assume that he’s on track, because children forget quite easily and you just never know when he might go back to his old habits. I don’t think we’re 100% there yet to make him less possessive over things, but at least last night’s incident let us know that we’re one step closer.
Do you have any stories and tips to share on how to impart good values to children? Would love to hear them and learn a thing or two.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I have the same problem with my girl too. She will only share (her food) with me. Not even the father. Now I kept telling her that its ok to give to papa, mummy will give you more tomorrow or later. And she is slowly showing changes.
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Amy, I think we have to be patient and continuously teach and remind them to share. Perhaps we’ll have to find some sort of reward for them to start with, and then hope it becomes part of their values over time.
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